Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
