Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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