Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
