it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
