i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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