Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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