He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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