i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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