i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
