i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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