He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I wish you could order shots online.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
