The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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