K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize