Nicole vs. Life
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
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