We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
