mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
