You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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