things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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