Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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