You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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