The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
