Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
