I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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