i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The best revenge is premature balding
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
