Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
