i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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