Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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