Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
