i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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