I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
