Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
