eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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