She's JV to your varsity
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
