Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
