Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize