the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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