My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize