This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
last night I used snow as a chaser
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
