Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
