yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I have grass duct taped all over my body
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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