that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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