I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
