i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
