Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
