3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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