would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
no, he came in my armpit
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
