im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
