Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize