Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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