Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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