Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
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