No stitches, just platelets and will power
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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