Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
