what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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