Apparently you make a good broom.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Randomize
