you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
God I need to hump something, right now.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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