i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
