before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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