Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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