Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
