I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
