I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
